I just got back from getting a mani-pedi. I mean I got the works…well, maybe not the whole works, but I chose a fun gel polish and even did the paraffin wax on my size 12 feet. I did nothing to earn a trip to the nail salon. It wasn’t a reward for good behavior or achieving a goal. I went because I deserve to have beautifully manicured hands and feet, and I deserve to take an hour or so every few weeks to sit in a chair and get pampered.
You do too.
Why do I bring this up? Why would it be important for anyone to understand that this isn’t a reward? Being a plus-size woman for most of my adult life, I can’t tell you how many times I have heard or read that as a fat person, I should set up a reward system to treat myself if I reach a certain threshold. For instance, after you have managed to lose 20 pounds, you could treat yourself to a pedicure or a new lipstick. I mean, wouldn’t being 20 pounds lighter be its own reward? I bought into this philosophy and have to tell you that I seldom splurged to get my nails done. I guess I became convinced that only skinny women deserved to have nice nails. In fact, there were a lot of things that I didn’t do for myself because, the world acts like being overweight is the worst thing you can do short of commit an actual crime and why should you be allowed to do something so frivolous as get pretty nails, I mean, you’re still gonna be fat, so why bother?
Well, here’s why. You deserve to treat yourself as if you were the main character in your story, the star of the show. Creating a habit of self-care , whether it’s a trip to the nail salon or paying for a really good colorist, can lead to a greater self-confidence. Many women, begin to lose confidence as they age so I think we should take every opportunity to build that confidence when it presents itself.
By the way, we play the reward game with more than weight loss. I’ve seen articles that suggest we set up a reward system for cleaning our house or drinking our water or quitting smoking. What if we flipped the script? What if, rather than putting off self-care until we’ve earned it, we decide that we will treat ourselves well, because we deserve it as women living through stressful times? What if, because we treat ourselves in that manner, we begin acting like we deserve things like a healthy body or a clean home or clear lungs. I am not suggesting a manicure will change your life, but I submit to you that your value is not dependent on the condition of your home, how much water you drink or a number on the scale.
I understand that in the current economy, there are many women who can barely get food on the table. If this is you, I am not suggesting that you use your grocery money to get your nails done. It might be that while you are in the grocery store, you pick up a new color of polish or a new lipstick. Do something for you.
So, we are going to talk a lot about self-care. We’re going to talk about a lot of things. But mostly, we are going to talk a lot about your value because the world is a better place with you in it.
I am looking for new ways to treat myself. Who wants to get the conversation started?
